“Plug Margarita Petrovna, she,… (Alexander Tulbu)

“Plug Margarita Petrovna, she, in my opinion, there’s a hole open,” Rashid advised the direct admission.”I once tried it, — he said, — our Margarita Petrovna had two available, but one is already involved as far as I remember correctly, and the other hole is very developed and close contact does not work””I do Not want to paste”, — negatively waved with a head Margarita Petrovna. Somehow, she fearfully looked at Rasheed Marjanovic, at the microphone in his hand with a huge head on the plug that dangled from his hands. She did not want any leads running from the “comp”, got in the way for which she always clung.

There are lips There are lips that invisible movements, though you can feel them breathing, will find a place on your back where you can have a moment to stop and freeze in the kiss.You heart monitor the search your heart skips a beat. And suddenly you feel, in the end, find such a place.They barely touch the dot just below the clavicle, and beat the coolness in the centre of your hot heart’s touch, and there is a slight, chilling the soul chills, soft needles which is rolled over the body.Such a kiss can be like anything: orgasm, drug attack, take-off point of sublimation, anything, but he is matchless)))

I watched the recent American film without translation and without subtitles, so to speak to practice English.In one beautiful love episode actress says to his beloved:”Touch me! Touch ” — of course he obeyed, and after these words they find themselves in a passionate kiss.The word “touch” in English means “touch”.That is, she told him — “Touch me, touch me “.In this regard, it was thought, where did the revolutionary word is “cart”.That’s how it is.”Tachanka” — a burst of gentle touches.

One run in the huge market in his underpants and with a handkerchief and he released it in an expensive suit, with rings on hand and silk handkerchief in the top pocket of his jacket, and all because he has a vein successfully conduct business;Another day abandoned football field in rural areas, he will sow the sunflower and a few years to grow into a powerful agricultural enterprise with a bunch of plants, and all because he has a peasant’s nose and wit;And third put it in the soul of a small sprout, so it will rip like a foreign weed, not thinking about the fact that a small sprout can grow into a strong and beautiful feeling, only need to carefully take care of him and to have patience.

The rules of the game can be u… (Alexander Tulbu)

The rules of the game can be unfair, but rules are better than total chaos.

Sit three young ladies, miss. “Oh, babonki, — said one, — I would a man with such,” and shows the approximate size for the brush.Joined the other young lady, says: “I would be a peasant with such,” and shows the approximate dimension between the hand and elbow.Then the third showed an excited interest in the assessments of friends: “And, here I have a stallion here with takoudis,” and shows up to the elbow, and the elbow on the rise to 180 degrees and the whole in tension.The first asks the second: “what did You mean by that?” The second answers the first: “I mean the position of man in society, and what are you?”The first answers the second: “And I mean the size of his wallet”, and the first and second looked at the third girl as a fool.

My cat asked him neutered. What does that say for the occasion this month of March without a viagra?

A woman is always in a Holy belief that the primary task of man is to put her quickly to bed. So those men that are usually to be with a woman in sexual relations not later the woman will go through their heart, have some part to go against yourself, and not to demolish the woman’s faith about the primacy of the bed relations for men, it is, in fact, a man must confess that he wants to be with this woman in bed, to mimic the expectations of women, but then, of course, it needs to say what he thinks of her that she is beautiful, smart, elegant, and most importantly, she is his type and his type.

If you bats in the belfry advised to have sex alone, then isn’t it better to tell them, let them engaged in Masturbation.

I read somewhere long ago, but remembered.Between people who communicate, there is a ritual and he is that person should say to another a certain number of words or phrases that were sustained for the ceremony of communication accepted in the given society.It was determined that one person should tell another about seven encouraging words to further remained normal relations.This procedure was termed the “ritual of seven strokes”Apparently we are talking about communication between people who know each other “nodding”, that is, the neighborhood relations.For example, when meeting Ivan will tell Peter Petrovich less than seven, then Peter will arise in the mind is a question: And not offended if I get a roommate?If, on the contrary, Ivan Ivanovitch, tell Peter Petrovich a greater number of words, the latter question arises: what did he want with me?

Left me wife; the Bank where t… (Alexander Tulbu)

Left me wife; the Bank where the money was burst; work kicked me out because my wife left me for my service Director and the love triangle did not go well, I thought about it and decided to risk everything, all property, conscience and soul that I had taken. And it was all taken away because I did not dare to take risks. And who does not risk

Saw enough the TV. From the speeches of all presidential candidates breathed a happy future, however, if I rip off your ass and go vote, that’s just what the President is going to make me happy? Question.I will go probably better to Tick Yes in the old will vote for her in a different place. At least friends will have something to say, say the type was completely satisfied with the choice and vote.

I see caring hands, I trust them. The palm of these hands are folded in a manner reminiscent of a vase, and there are delicate and beautiful a flame, it is their light passes through the material of the arms and the arms themselves are in the world, but the fire did them no harm, not burn them. Fire is my soul and she is in love. I don’t know what the life is given to this flame, but what exactly is life, I cannot doubt. Why when people die, their memory lit the eternal flame? I don’t know why to me eternal flame, and eternity in General, it is a symbol of death. Yes, I have solemnly lifted soul, when I begin to feel love but I have to.

“So tell me how you got the bottle?””You know, there was a small sabantuychik, the type of corporate rock. A few drinks, I noticed that Svetlana Maksimovna a bit drunk and had gone into the room, and there was no one there. I decided to go and stalk her a little””Well?” “She’s a strict lady. And then, suddenly generous and said: I’ll give that upload! I naturally regarded it as a tempting invitation and began to act, but she whacked me with a bottle. Maybe I did not understand? It is very her face is somehow not sexual expression was looking at me”

It is possible to move forward and backwards.Some go backwards, because the pressure of external circumstances so great that such a powerful wind, therefore the only way to move forward, that is, such comrades sincerely believe that happiness awaits them downwind; others, go forward, backwards, to conduct the crowd to flock there and defiantly fun to walk behind, and some simply have insured their Asses from any movements, and this is a significant step forward. This, of course, not an advertising campaign of Rosgosstrakh as they could think of readers. Though

Very often luck comes to us wh… (Alexander Tulbu)

Very often luck comes to us when we dropped her hands and left up. It turns out that we see the return of the “prodigal our sons,” that is all that we previously made to curb miss Luck, she just was in no hurry, and we couldn’t wait.

Young man, I tell You for the third time to report that I do NOT NEED to WRITE MORE !!! NEE OF NAIDOO!!!Girl, do not so much scream, I not deaf. From Your op, interspersed with cries my monitor has come shiver as he began to reveal me to read that last message.I understood everything, and write You don’t intend to.

Doctor, I have some livestock on the head runs.Animals say. Here is your cream, RUB in the head five times a day, and the animals will not survive such aggression.In a week.Doctor:Well, how? That’s right, I told you, a good ointment?Patient:Do all the good, Doctor. The livestock after heavy, that is to say, bloody fighting, as all my head of ointment of your itch is not a joke and even bleeding, in the end, left the Bastion — my head gave ground and retreated, taking the position on a tiny island in the center of the sacko. Drive out the animals with the help of your ointment of difficulty will not be, but I’m afraid of something. It is very strong ointment your.

“The diamond boy”In the world of people, in my opinion, the child, due to the fact that his mind is no hazy, — is a pure diamond, and no one in this no doubt, the image of the child is a symbol of squeaky clean. Only much later and gradually, this diamond is superimposed as layers of different makeup situations, circumstances, people, and appears like a diamond. Requires hard and laborious work to consider, already in the adult man the little man, and his pure soul. In the world of stones to exactly the opposite, just the opposite.Diamonds are mined as source material, they sometimes look dirty, and only after long and careful treatment appears crystal clear diamond.

Invite me on a date again to close this kruga feel unwell,And you also are suffering, my friend.Let windy we were to each other Than destroyed the fragile comfort,And let our hearts sang the Blizzard,But they’re beautiful love live.Holiday, meeting, champagne vinot varieties of sugar until soft Brut,But not breathing disturbing the bliss of the sternum,the Bells of our hearts do not sing.We gave ourselves good-bye,Their feelings were given, and the bitterness of separation,But surely this experience nakasagot some once passed of anguish.

“Do you think what I think dur… (Alexander Tulbu)

“Do you think what I think during oral sex?””How do I know?If he was with us, I would like something on your face or something,I don’t know how, but try to catch your thoughts,to understand what you think””This is what happens, if I did,then you would instead receive a heavenly pleasure,bored to my brains, trying in vain to discern what I think?I knew it! You can not just enjoy,just enjoy.You need something to think and think!””You still add it to your favorite phrase, I’m not a man but a machine “

How quickly and simply to meet a girl in exactly one minute?You can come up with any stupid question and get any answer.And then say a sacramental phrase:”You know, it’s interesting, this question that I’m asked, I give same same answer like you, exactly. With such General views of life, it makes sense to get us something together. For example, familiarity”

Fucking lesser curses can not say, some kozlodoev of our company ruined my dog.Brought two months before the new year from kennel Pei.Handsome, tail pipe, noble dog, and then the New year.When the chimes struck, and all ran outside to leave the firecrackers, I took the dog with us. Some jerk from our company threw a dog a firecracker, the explosion of the package the dog threw up on two feet.After that, the dog became frightened, could not descend the stairs down to pee, the tail was constantly preloaded.Don’t know how to remedy this situation.

Finished the repairs in the apartment and she called the neighbor electrician socket insert. As expected he took off his shoes and went to work. After he finished with the plug, and I gave him three bottles of beer, he began to gather home. Standing in the hallway barefoot and asks me: Hey, where are my shoes?Here I was took aback, I remembered that when the neighbour was controlled with the outlet, I took on the trash the rest of the garbage that has been renovated and along with the garbage to take out and shoes neighbor, considering them in their old.I went to the dumpster to take the shoes of a neighbor, and they already pereobulsya a homeless person. Do not select the same from the homeless, the trash the social economy.I came and honestly told the neighbor the story of his shoes.He began to cry. It turned out that the shoes he inherited from his father, who to them, being an electrician pole climbing. A father neighbor of the shoes Americans gave during the war. A family heirloom.I had nothing to say as only what I’m sorry about what happened.

A real gentleman always digiti… (Alexander Tulbu)

A real gentleman always digitize a relationship with a girl in a beautiful holiday.

Tell me that You sent fuck.You could not stand the suffering of the road, got lost and came back because back?Or You immediately began to scour where to find thicker, but You summed up the sense of smell, You are found and returned to get a clearer focus?Rather the second.I have no doubt that You are even in this sad case, will ask the question: How to use the kick that You got the backside, and not think about how it happened.

I knew she was cold and frigid Woman, but after a hot, passionate and wild night, she lazily yawning without interest in the eyes said, “Honey, we had that night?” and then quietly padded to the kitchen to make coffee and maybe a cigarette to light without any hint of the possibility of my participation. I did not know.

He was so seriously ill that he just disassembled for analysis. And on the stone his farewell, wrote: “I am distressed for thee, dearly departed. Every test showed that you were destined for a long life, but only very shortening it could figure it out. In memory of”

Condoms are far from safe as they seem at first glance. From them people die, true future

Strange thing, but a street cat everywhere smells like dog.

I go into this hall behind me As the bride elegant and evil,Dragging a train my memory,Everything around still remembers me.I was still young, but he was not rich,And I remember how timidly, almost at random,I selected the words for love,But was told they only.

If the process of childbirth to count for the feat, it turns out that the man even a single feat is not made in the historically recent past. Maybe everything is still ahead

The topic of literary sites, but not on GM, because there are no competitions.It is often the case. For example, there is a website, a contest for the best work, for example a validity of two months. Some poet or writer has submitted his work, and begin to beg from other participants positive evaluation or scores. If you left just the opinion that the product is good, then you write to the PM and say that you forgot to give a high evaluation of the works in points with the motivation Contest all the same. In the end, wins the mediocre, grey and unattractive product due to the fact that the author himself hyped on the website. Then he puts the victory on the front page of your CV, and who rolls on. And many, especially those who are, in fact, an inert mass, on the website, I think to myself: Oh, the poet (writer) – super!, he is a winner of many competitions. Read his stuff, and develop in poetic terms on.

Golden sand… (Alexander Tulbu)

Golden sand. Sluggish lapping of the sea. Full Nirvana. I lie down, but suddenly can see me from two sides fit two of some gloomy guy, and each of them holds in his hand a huge “megaphone”.They come up to me and without any demand put these two “megaphone” to my ears, the right and left.And then I Wake up. I Wake up three minutes before you Wake up and the unimaginable starts to roar, it’s rude, nasty and arrogant the beast is my alarm clock.

Why so often?Brought the villain to clean water, and it was absolutely crap by those for whom tried?

If you say that a person bullet in the head, I’m fine with that.It is important for me in which hemisphere of the brain is stuck bullet.If she was impressed by the hemisphere that is responsible for rationality, the person will live, and if damaged hemisphere is responsible for emotions, feelings and everything that is called soul, you can admit that it is a death, regardless of whether in General the person in front of you people or only half.

We put the monuments to Pushkin and don’t read there poetry. Do we begin to carry the disease on their feet, running and zipping past our spiritual revival?

Suddenly got a bonce because log-in shorts in a store that sells panties — not. Took off my shorts and entered the store.Left the store and got the bonce, because to be in a public place without panties — not.Well, you ask, and the store?Answer: “In the store, none of the briefs did not fit, not my style”And old? Answer: “How is it possible to wear pants again that was once removed?”

What’s happening to me I do not understand.Look at his pictures, then click on “Delete” and save yourself from this nasty faces.But, I ask, why then I begin to rummage through the trash, find it, restore all things, and think again to use the “Delete”button?And how long will it last?

If you get absolutely everything, even the simplest things to do in the ass, and you’re doing an amazing job, it is not a reason to flaunt it like the Gibbons at the zoo, and as the object of his pride.

He trained long cock until he taught simple habit to bite him this morning in any of the halves of the rear seats.He didn’t know any other way to remember the things that are left until then, until the cock in the ass does not bite.

After the suicide, she tried t… (Alexander Tulbu)

After the suicide, she tried to kill herself and fix her hair.

Went to New Guinea to look at the Papuans, however, they proved to be worse than the Papuans, because staring at the Papuans as if came to look at them.

If a man is something for a very long time hatching, it is going to be something worthwhile, although disruptions are possible

Kristallnact his honesty, no one was never in doubt, but it was clear that stones are fake.

Don’t leave, stay still with me,Let my tears melt in the heavens,Let the crying sky and me,Basking in the gray rain and rain.

I glanced in the mirror to look at, but it was something.

If you have the corners of your mouth often fall to the bottom, if you confused if you just stole a smile, SMILE is the only way to smile back to you and Shine in your soul.

Strange site a Gem. Wife came in, bought the boots, and asks for comment on how they look. I sit, commenting on her boots and at the same time following a quote for the Pearls considering. Even thoughts arise as the boots wife to tie to the quote, just have them comment. After all, all the best happens unexpectedly and usually out of nowhere.

Work — house, work — house. Married 5 years, 2 children.Suddenly get a TEXT from his wife:”Darling! I invite you today on a romantic date with a loving dinner and candles. Your Love”Damn, three times double-checked, whether it is a message from his wife.And after checking it one more time looked.The love I have, but my friendship with her, and this TEXT, as I have found, the wife sent. That’s the case.

He was lying to her, but was lying, loving, so She loved him a little bit false.

What a pity that only after tridtsatiletnej and body, and soul.

Two friends.If you knew how much in front of my wife the marital debts accumulated, you would have fallen out laughing. And how much?Not at all.So, what’s the trick.She told me to forgive all debts, and went to another.

Canned economy classinterface!, what to put in canned meat class “economy”, if the cat, being three days on the diet, carefully sniffed the cans and went on to look for food?

She decided on her birthday to invite him. She liked this boy.Also decided to show off in front of Katya and Serezha some culinary delights, so to speak to show him my thriftiness.Kate opened fat cookbook, then a refrigerator, and realized that a fried egg will be just right.

It seems to me that without lo… (Alexander Tulbu)

It seems to me that without love I was sleeping,but it is a very light sleeper.I Wake every rustle.

He wandered for a long time in the woods, and shouted: “AU”, while the forest is not entered, that it is necessary to apply a signal to the poor that in the forest no one, and he firmly lost.

What are the rakes, who are not afraid of no work?Of course, grabley, have You any opinion?

A new form of weight loss under the attractive name of “a Rearrangement of weight.”The procedure lies in the fact that you very effectively shaking until then, until you shook either the weight or the money.

If the electrician is careful not to confuse the phase where the 380 volts, then he has every chance to quietly retire, and happy to remember how beautiful was the glow of electric discharges. In my opinion, marriage is about a similar thing.

If you have increased, this does not mean that other shrunken.

If you agreed to live in a ditch, don’t waste your time: take care arrangement of the hut and the surrounding area.

Diamonds and pearls is good, but just nicer when a woman decorates modesty, of course, if this is not the reasoning of men, greedy for diamonds and pearls for beloved woman.

Igniting the fuse, check to see in whose ass is inserted its end, if your, it is urgent to get rid of and have fun whipping tail.

News! Took new Secretary. Finally, and that work is worth. I’ll go introduce myself.Yes, wait, do not hurry, the Director may not it can databasethat.

In our creation so ingrained that the word “pairing” or “tandem”, we all thought, a surprising find, it’s simply brilliant. All animals, including humans, live in pairs, so why, I’m sorry, we can’t rule a couple? One head will move slightly, then the other. And they say: one head — good, two — better.It’s safe to say that each one spinning in the head Holy idea: Holy shit, so many years we lived with “edinolichnoe”, and here you — “duplicity”! and how good shows.

Which still women are deceitful creatures.One said to me:”You’re a moron squared”I did not consider the trouble to look at yourself in the mirror and saw the face of idiots.Agree that the jerk at the square and round the idiot is far different.Believe then women.

Two friends argue about the th… (Alexander Tulbu)

Two friends argue about the third.Hey, it’s our Savely constantly in some sawdust walks, that it is carpenter went to work?No, his wife nags.

What envy Women:they have the opportunity to relax and “break away” in full fruiting.

Patience had dried up completely,and she continued to bully him and he turned on backup power.Because he loved her.

He was a virgin and never done any sexual deed, while to his friends he was bedecked with medals.

You can not fall through the floor since that’s where the fork in the murine paths and have to constantly deal with the rat offspring. Although, you can try to begin to regulate their unorganized movement with the prospect of becoming the rat king.

“The world has changed beyond recognition,” said Peter, waking up in a muddy ditch.”Unrecognizable Peter has changed. It is often to my guests began to drop in, unannounced, and then just fall on me like snow on the head. Why would it? You were sick, tea?”, — thought to himself the ditch.

Sex is preceded by thoughts about sex. So when something was a long time ago, but suddenly all has changed, and joined the opposite scenario. First sex and then thoughts, or in case of emergency: Oh, mother

She dips fingers in a bowl of silver,And laughs in his face face well-groomed.He was to her man, and it became an exhibit,But why she hurts him make up his shameless?

In my opinion the top jerkiness, “pout” at the cat and poke him in his own feces by the nose, who just so wrong, and that he imposed in the area by and large due to the fact that was closed in the room when you with peace of mind ran to work. His fault is, in your opinion, he had to be patient before your arrival or try to paw open the door to run to his cat toilet.In my opinion, he’s poor suffered and tried as I can.

If an event occurs only once, it was an accident, since no traceable pattern.However, the death of a person cannot be called accidental — it is a random pattern.

There is the rustle of a wedding platitum gather all RusAtom wedding dancing for svadbas more and more beautiful There is a carnival fun chaloklam and vitality of the heart reciving there lapping at KRUGOV the shadows of love long candles There is evil not out walking paths dogs hounding people, and there is not open costiujeni umbrellas claws